"Sing Life's Song" (Entry 481)

I smile at jokes from distance times.  

Although I alone remember. 

Now the tears flow, I don't know why. 

My heart and soul are in embers. 

My laughter turns and anger burns. 

As the truth dissolves the fences. 

Though I yearn, it's you that spurned. 

Destroying all of my defences. 

But I'll grin against the hurt. 

Lifting chin up to the skies. 

There's a new hope to assert. 

I walk on with clearer eyes. 

I am strong, know where I belong. 

I have a future of which I'm proud. 

You were wrong, this is my song. 

It's my life and I'll sing it out loud. 

"The You Forecast" (Entry 475)

There were rainbows once. 

Blue skies too. 

Now all is stormy. 

Without you. 

"So, You've Gone" (Entry 456)

I wept once. 

When I heard you had gone. 

Not for you,

For those left behind. 

You hurt. 

You were worth-less and less. 

And yet. And yet. 

You destroyed more 

Than you ever gave. 

So I and we wave goodbye.

No more tears shed

On the life you lead. 

"House Unloved" (Entry 432)

Uninviting,

No welcome mat before

Great rusted iron doors. 

Decades decay,

Peeling pea green paint,

Sticky splintered structure,

ancient. 

Derelict dire darkness. 

Place for dead?

Not yet. 

Unloved. Unwanted. 

A house that forgot it was once a home.

"Precious Thing" (Entry 399)

It was most precious thing. 

The thing I liked to keep near,

Or at least know where it was at all times. 

To see, to hold,

Or even be in the same room, 

I felt safe. 

I knew I was home. 

Then one day, I lost my thing. 

Unable to search,

As I knew it was gone forever,

Never to return. 

My heart broke, in that moment,

Never to be mended. 

There's always a chunk missing, a hole left, my precious lost thing. 

My precious lost mother. 

My most important possession. 

(If a person can belong to another. 

I think they can, when hearts are open, when they give so much... mean so much... are so much to each other.)

My mum. 

I lost her when she died. 

I love her love, her laughter, her strength, her friendship, her scent, her protection, her hugs. 

The most precious thing in my world is lost.

**********

Almost 22 years without you. 

Today is your birthday. 

I will miss you always. 

Remember you always. 

Love you forever. 

"A Raw Silence" (Entry 388)

Some thing's enter this life with a roar. 

A human baby's cry that parents adore. 

First breath of announcement or even anguish. 

New born arrival comes with its own language. 

A New Year enters by fireworks and bells. 

Artificial time's passing with songs, chants and yells. 

Then there's those that enter by way of silence. No sound. 

Like true time shown without whisper by that wrinkle newly found. 

Nor does the spider on its web and it weaves. 

Or death which enters when the last sigh leaves. 

Then do we dare step beyond to see who are the silent that enter?

Like Angels, the unseen, who live at soul's centre. 

The hosts of energy, love is their being. 

They whisper in the quiet - all-knowing, all-seeing.

"They Travel With Me" (Entry 384)

I sense the spirits on those long passed. 

As I tread my dusty path. 

I do not know where this leads. 

To tangled dells or shimmering seas. 

I know that those I've known, walk with me. 

Though I do not hear them, and never see. 

For those I've loved will never leave. 

They live within my heart and I still grieve. 

I miss their presence, touch and voice. 

Although I will cry. The more, I rejoice. 

As love that strong a bond will never break. 

They are always with me on this journey I make. 

So I step forward with strength so grand. 

They travel with me, in heart, by hand. 

"In Living Thoughts" (Entry 366)

Those who have left this world,

Who have passed over,

Who are resting, Who were taken,

Who have, let's face it, died. 

Don't speak of them in the past,

Like a dusty collection. 

Talk of them, in present tense,

As we are still here, 

so are they. 

Still present, though now in memory. 

That what it's like to be remembered. 

The living thoughts in reflection. 

"Untethered Vortex" (Entry 338)

Beyond balloons

and kites on height. 

To take the blows

and dissipate the vortex, 

that they left behind. 

Blustered thrust at the guts

from their departure.

Left drifting in the air. 

Will there, once again,

be a tethering place?

"Negative Numbers" (Entry 305)

All encompassing.
Dark, overpowering.
Life ruined by numbers.
Meaningless figures.
Red, not black.
On a page and computer.
In a bank. Intangible.
Supernatural.

Wish not experienced.
What was had.
What was known.
Would that be better?
If not had come to be,
Those things. Those places.
Would not known,
what was lost.
Would not known,
how it can be.
Heartbreak caused by negative.
All known, left to memory.

"To Gaze, but Not See" (Entry 298)

Gaze at surroundings.
Clear eyes, like crystal balls,
To view another’s life.
Although it’s mine.
I see the oak rocking chair
With broken lattice that digs into my ribs
As I seesaw.
I see the purple hand-knitted cushion,
With many a pull caused by
Wedged into the space to stop the sharp swing dig.
The pack of tarot cards,
Worn soft by pleading hands
wringing love or riches from them.
A china cup on mismatched chipped saucer
Roses and Polka Dots.
These are the stuff of a life,
That’s mine,
But I cannot quite see as I
Gaze at surroundings.

"Life in Letters" (Entry 286)

Letters found
in an attic.
Written by hand unknown.
A century ago.
To fresh-faced feline-graced
belle.
A maiden fare,
who would flush a cheek
at the chaste kisses
The brazen beau seeks.
And yet,
months and time go on
and kisses turn to caresses.
Embolden by replies
and flitted flirting flick of an inky rise.
The courting "if I may"
turns to a fiancée's "I would like"
and on to a solider husband's saucy "I will take."
Then gone,
Letters stop.
As war wins this game.

"Alone and On View" (Entry 251)

Room with no windows,
the grey padded cell.
Viewed by guards cameras.
His own private hell.
Hidden in plain sight.
Watch him yell.
Lost and alone.
As you might tell.
This is no home, no house,
No place to dwell.

"Hey from The Invisible" (Entry 212)

"Hey, Lady? Hey, Lady!"
Hey, Lady?
You got any change?
Do you even see me
Beneath your up-turned nose?
I am one of the forgotten.
The invisible child.
Spare a thought and some change.
Remember me here.
Have I got through, reached a nerve or
A distant soul?
Hey, Lady. I'm here.
Heel flicks grime...
No. Not this time.

"A Note" (Entry 200)

One line she wrote, and grinned to gloat,
"I found out, you shit!"
For him to find.

She left the note and took her coat.

Leaving emotional baggage behind.

"Cost" (Entry 144)

To make it safe, to build the dome.
To create environment that we call home.
To protect the fortunate who we say best.
To secure survival we forgot the rest.
To perpetual life this is what it cost.
To carry humanity billions were lost.